4 mornings in the hospital - Part 1

Morning 1 - Friday, 8th January 2010
1. On the day Huzaifah turned 4 years and 4 months old, he had to be taken to the Emergency department of Hospital Putrajaya - to get quick relief treatment for asthma. It's been a long while, and the attack took us by surprise.

2. Tried to think up what could have been the cause that trigger this attack - for an asthmatic child, Huzaifah could eat ice-cream, watermelon, stand cold weather better than many of his peers and keep being physically active even when he's asthmatic. The big no-no for him is dust - that's why back when we were in Japan, Huzaifah usually got his asthma attack during summer- when it was dusty, instead of in winter like feared by many others.

3. Now that he's four, Huzaifah is more receptive to putting on the gas mask in the asthma bay in the hospital. Very unlike how he used to struggle and fight against us (me, hubby, the nurse or anybody nearby who would give us a helping hand) to put the gas mask on him. My guess is, Faizly can still recall the time he helped me out with this particular task at the hospital during summer 2008... Yes dear, that evening when I was 'disappointed' that the doctor who attended to Huzaifah was not the kakkoi one... (Sabar jelah, kan?)

4. My eldest's condition was so severe that Friday morning that he had to use up two doses. After he finished the first round of 'gas', he was checked by a doctor and immediately prescribed another round of gas treatment. Poor boy, but I was proud to note that he did not make a fuss at all - because he's big enough now to know that it is only for his own good. Oh, how quickly they grow up!

5. As if that was not enough, when I returned home that evening, Humaidi started showing symptoms of asthma too. I gave him 3ml of Salbutamol, hoping that it will help preventing it from getting worse. Happened that we have to send Mira, my Mak's helper to Sungai Way that night for her day(s) off. When we returned from PJ, Humaidi looked better.

Sayang Sarawak - part 3

1. I met an old friend who I haven't seen in more than a decade, Emy. We were neighbours back in college days and although we used to belong to different group of usrah, we got along fabulously well. It was amazing how even after more than ten years passed us by, once we met, there was almost no feeling of awkwardness that one would normally expect in such reunion.

2. We chatted all night long, filling on each other's development since we last met in Glasgow in winter 1996 or 1997. We went out for dinner in Satok and after that Emy's husband, Azhar drove all over Kuching so that Emy could play tourist guide as she pointed out and described places of interest, assisted by her lovely 8-year-old daughter. Meeting her 8-month old son helped to alleviate my missing Baby Haniyya a bit. I'm touched to have Emy and her family coming all the way from Samarahan to Kuching just to take me out to dinner - and it felt really good to be back in touch with her.

3. I was supposed to meet up with another old friend who I haven't seen in ages and who shares similar birth date with me - Syafiq Anas. As it happened though, Syafiq was too busy with work and then with Christmas (he is a Muslim revert, and his family is Christian, so he goes back to Bau for family get-together during Christmas). Maybe next time...

4. I didn't plan on meeting her but was so glad to meet Kak Jasmine Andrew just as I finished Kek Lapis shopping in Kampung Gersik. Turned out her car was parked right next to our host's car. She had already reversed her car and was set to move away when she noticed me at the road side and honked at me. I was surprised by the honk, of course, thinking "what? what did I do wrong?". She re-entered the parking lot, parked her car, pulled down her window and exclaimed "Hey! What are you doing here?". We were so excited to see each other as we jumped and hugged each other. Must be quite a sight for the passerby - a 30-something tall Malay hugging and jumping with a 40-something not-so-tall Bidayuh, hehehe.

5. Kak Jas is currently on study leave, doing her PhD. Turned out that she was in Kampung Gersik to order some food for Christmas. She invited us - hubby and all his friends as well - over for lunch at her house on Christmas, but alas we could not fulfill her invitation as we had to return back to KL that day.

6. Also made some new friends -

• Puan Habibah and her family - the 'sponsor' who invited hubby and co for the 'assignment' and invited me over to one of the all-week-long-nightly solat hajat at her home where I tasted ambal (bamboo clam) and cempedak masak lemak for the first time;
• Nor, Puan Habibah's daughter, who fetched me from the Airport and sent all the entourage to the Airport on the last day. A single mother, raising a 7-year old son Amirul, she seems to be very strong and positive in facing life's many trials and tribulations;
• Salimi and Jais, who had been very accomodating in driving us all over Kuching from 360 Hotel in Padungan/Pending area to places we wish to go - Satok, Gersik, Gambier Road (to witness the row of 7 shops in a historical area which burned down while we were there), Pasar Tamu, Petra Jaya, Water Front, Riverside Shopping Mall, Semariang etc;
• Dr Jamal's team for the assignment - Azizul, Razlin, Abang Jai, Azzyzul and Aza Faizal. Granted, hubby and I got teased (often in 18SX tones) mercilessly sometimes, but they are good people to hang out with.
• Nor, Salimi's elder sister, and her husband, who hosted a lunch for us, took us out to Pasar Tamu to buy freshly-salted ikan terubuk masin, taught us how to eat buah Dabai and introduced Mee Jawa Sate to us. They used to live in Putrajaya, and we invited them over to Presint 11 should they come and visit Semenanjung.

Pictures will be posted later, insya Allah.

Sayang Sarawak - part 2

1. Notwithstanding hubby's not-so-good experience with AirAsia flight, I must admit that we had pretty much a great time in Kuching.

2. No, we didn't go the Cultural Village. Transport plus ticket from our hotel to the Cultural Village was RM80 per pax (Rm20 for transport and RM60 for the ticket) and I felt that it was ridiculously high since Sarawakian only have to pay RM20 for their ticket. I can understand if foreigners are charged higher - that's how things are done in say, Angkor Wat, where local and foreign visitors are charged differently, but why do fellow Malaysians from outside Sarawak have to pay such exorbitant price to enter the Culture Village? Shouldn't all Malaysians, regardless their state of origin (MyKad is used for verification purpose) - in the 1 Malaysia spirit - be charged the same for the ticket?

3. We were told that there was not much to see and do in Kuching itself - but I loved it anyway. The good thing about travel is that it breaks stereotypes, as we get to see for ourselves and form our own impressions. Yes Kuching is not that big compared to KL but my oh my, there are plenty of stuff to enjoy in Kuching.

4. When in Kuching, suggested things-to-do include:

• A stroll along the Water Front at night. Boarding the Equator for a cruise on the Sarawak River at sunset would be better.
• Shopping for souvenirs at Water Front area
• Sipping Teh C Peng Special or 3-layer-tea. Very unlike the normal teh tarik, its a concoction in three layers of (top-to-bottom) tea, evap­o­rated milk and gula melaka (palm sugar). Nice!
• Buying home-made Kek Lapis Sarawak (Sarawak Layer Cake) in Kampung Gersik, Petra Jaya - across the Sarawak river from the city centre. Dayang Salhah is arguably the most popular Kek Lapis cake house, but I was told that some smaller entrepreneurs use butter instead of margarine to make the cakes, hence theirs are superior in taste and texture. Kek Lapis Sarawak are also available from Mita or Taka cake houses with many outlets all over Kuching. Warning - home-made variants sold in Kampung Gersik do not last as long as those bought in Mita or Taka cake houses since they contain no artificial preservatives.
• A ride on the penambang boat. Hubby's group 'chartered' one boat for twenty minutes for a 'cruise' along the river for only RM20
• Trying out Mee Kolok in Satok
• Buying ikan terubok masin in the wet market
• Tasting local dishes like Laksa Sarawak or Mee Jawa with Sate in a local kopitiam
• Buying and tasting exotic Buah Hutan such as Dabai and Isau in the Pasar Tamu.

5. Other first time experiences? Tasted Ambal (bamboo clam) and Masak Lemak Cempedak. Yes, cempedak, not nangka as we in Semenanjung are used to. Interesting, eh?

Sayang Sarawak

"... travel makes us porous to new customs, beauties, ideas, and dreams. I can't think of a better vaccine against dogmatism or a quicker cure for self-satisfaction. As we struggle to reconcile what we're experiencing with what we take for granted, we strip away what's arbitrary in cultural practice and approach what is universal." - Robert Fuller

1. For the record, Sungai Sarawak is not narrow, no matter what the song said...

2. Hubby was there for a day over a week due to an assignment. He already told me that even if I joined him, he wouldn't be able to spend much time with me, but I insisted on joining him for a few days anyway.

3. It is a tradition of sort for us to explore a new place together to celebrate our anniversary. We played tourist in Tokyo during our second anniversary. Explored Nikko a week before our third. Spent one night in Singapore to commemorate our fourth. And this year, Kuching it was.

4. For the first time ever, we spent our annual 'anniversary' holiday away from the kids. Which was both nice and kind of weird. I missed my boys, but spending some time just with hubby helped making us feel closer and more connected to each other. Not that we've never done things together back home, we do. But those outings felt more like a routine rather than a bonding experience.

5. Like I told my newly-graduated-and-now-a-medical-doctor cousin (congratulations Dr Hafiz! *winks and grins*), I missed traveling. Yes, I still travel every now and then as part of my job requirement but after a while it starts to feel "same old, same old". I yearned to explore someplace new, view new sights, taste new stuff, meet new faces. Sarawak provided an excellent opportunity for me to do just that.

6. It was my first time to Sarawak - and hopefully it won't be the last. I must admit that alhamdulillah, I had better luck than hubby when it comes to having a nice journey to and fro Kuching. We both took AirAsia flight - hubby went there on 18 December and returned on 25 December while I went there on 22 December and returned on the same day with hubby. Only that hubby told me that his return flight was at 3.00 p.m. (he did not buy his own ticket, it was provided by his sponsor), so I bought ticket for 3.05 p.m. Turned out that hubby's ticket was for 3.50 p.m. We decided not to change the ticket because it was less than an hour difference and I don't mind waiting an hour in LCCT - I still had another book-in-progress.

7. What actually took place was - while I basically experienced little delay (typical of AirAsia) on both my journey to and fro, hubby's flight to Kuching was delayed for more than three hours. And his flight back from Kuching was delayed for almost six hours. I guess it's true after all - that AirAsia tagline, "Now everybody can fly" is interchangable with "Not everybody can fly" (on time). Oh well...

First day at 'sekolah'

1. Today is a milestone of sort - our firstborn Huzaifah went for his first day at kindergarten. Since Huziafah is turning four years old and four months come this Friday, we felt that he's ready for 'sekolah' - or kindergarten to be exact.

2. Why do we send him to a kindy?
Well, we figured it's time for him to learn skills like making friends, listening to authorities as well as to get him engrossed in activities other than bothering his younger brother at home. For me. it's more his social rather than academic progress that I'm concerned about. He needs to get used playing and learning with other children, to learn how to interact better, to sit still and listen sometimes rather than actively exploring, exploring and exploring.
Besides, I guess the helper will appreciate having a more 'peaceful' morning with Huzaifah being away from Humaidi for a while.
(Btw, Yati, our helper had just quitted last night. I'm having my Mak's helper, Mira, on loan until I get a new one... Maid, oh maid... can't live with them, can't live without them...)

3. Huzaifah was so excited about it that he woke up at four in the morning to take yet another look at his new schoolbag, stationery and all. He went to sleep with the bag next to him.

4. He adamantly refused to take his breakfast before we left the house - insisting on just taking "scott emasen" (Scott's Emulsion chewy Vitamin C) and the star-shaped multi-vit tablet, so I packed some choc chip cookies and a chocolate cream roll for breakfast to be taken at the kindy.

5. Happened that Humaidi woke up early and was furious when I left the house together with Huzaifah unlike before this when I waved bye-bye to all three of them before I go to work. He cried and cried and threw a huge tantrum, but well, what to do?

6. Huzaifah was so cool about his first day at school.
We entered the class
Got him seated at a cluster-table while waiting for our turn for registration
He ate some cookies and drank some warm chocolate drink
I got him some magazines from a rack at the back of the class for him to flip through just before I was called to the front for the registration
Measured him up to confirm his uniform size and paid the fees
Went back together to his seat
Had my final say - reminded him to behave, to follow what the teachers said and to be good
He kissed my hands and muttered 'bye-bye'
And off I went out of the class.
To observe from outside the window, of course.
He was cool with it.
No signs of nervousness, fear or sadness.
No crying, no wailing, no tugging at my hands and refusing to let me go.
No drama.
How he made me felt oh so proud of him. Good boy!

7. I didn't wait for long. Only until after it was his turn to introduce himself. When he seemed fine and in good hands, I left for work. I was in the office at 9.00 a.m.

8. Reminded hubby to pick him up at 11.40 a.m.. Forgot to tell him that they haven't started the Iqra' class yet, so kindy is over by 11.30 a.m. until further notice

9. Called the teacher to ask how did my son fare on his first day at kindy.
"Dia baru nak sesuaikan diri.
Tak nangis
Tak kacau orang
Dia buat hal sendiri je
Tapi betul lah, memang semua benda dia nak sentuh
Biasalah baru-baru lagi
Lama-lama nanti oklah tu"
I already 'warned' the teacher beforehand that my son does not know how to sit still for long.
Even before I left, I intercerpted him once from going out of the classroom straight to the playground next to it.
And even before I left, he was already pushing some cabinets to form a 'train'.
Yes, he is indeed very active.
And very imaginative.
I can only imagine how interesting life will get for us - Huzaifah, the teachers and we the parents - in this new year of 2010...

P.S: My cousin Zulfa, who is a little over a year, had just underwent a surgery for 'jantung berlubang' at IJN this morning. Ayah Lang send an SMS saying that alhamdulillah the surgery was a success. But she still needs to be warded to be observed by the doctor for quite some time. Please join me in making do'a for my cousin Zulfa's quick recovery, ya?

P.P.S: It's Nita's son, Afif's first day at proper school today. Nita texted me early morning, letting me know that she let the father to deal with her son's first day at school while she reminisced old times as she opened up old albums. She misses the good old times. She misses the good memories. She misses me.
Well, I miss you too Nita.
Engok hek!
(While the last statement may sounds like 'ngok ngek' which might not be deemed friendly, it actually means "I love you" in Orang Kita's language - can't remember which one though. It's what Nita used to say in reply to me telling her "I love you" back when we were in college because she found it difficult to say the three little words)

Pussycat,pussycat, where have you been?

I've been to - places...
Been busy working too
Plus there's some problem with the computer at home, hence no internet access.

Anyway, here's a brief update.

1. Been to Masjid Negeri, Shah Alam to listen to Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qardawi
That was on 2 Muharram. Went there with Mak and Ayah. It was good to witness the masjid being full - Malaysiakini reported that there were 4000 in attendance, but it sure felt like there were more. It was good to see that there were more young people in attendance - mothers with kids and babies in tow, college and high school students and all...

2. Been to PPUM and was told that my son might have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder).
No, not Huzaifah. It was Humaidi that got the doctor concerned. Got an appointment to see a paediatrician for a more thorough check-up on January 11th.
Symptoms?
Constantly in motion - like I said, my sons are always on the go, on the go, on the go...
Showing destructive behaviour - like throwing stuff and 'gomol'ing people. In fact, when the doctor gave him a pen, he shook it so hard that it scratched the doctor's right cheek.
Often talking excessively - but using unrecognisable words. He's late in learning how to converse because he has difficulty following after the adult who introduced 'normal' words to him.

3. Been to Sarawak - for the first time in my life
This deserves an entry on its own... Tungguuu...

4. Been to the clinic because I got the red eyes...
And got MC for the last 4 days in 2009
Oh well...

Salam Maal Hijrah

Picture taken from here

To all Muslim readers,

Happy New Hijri Year 1431

Ya Allah,

Most Gracious, Most Benevolent

Please forgive us for all our sins

Grant us the strength to live in accordance with the Quran and Sunnah

Grant us good health so that we may continue to make more good deeds

Grant us prosperity so that we can give more to those in need

and shower Your blessings on us

and keep us on Your guided path at all times

so that we may die in Iman and in Islam
Amin ya Rabbal Aa'lamin

Year End Lunch - more pics!

This entry is especially for you, Ju.
With all my love.
(and little bits of *evil grins* hehehe)

Sambal goreng Anizz

Asam Pedas Ikan kembong 'Jusa CC' Marziah

Telur dadar (bakal-pengantin) Fairuz


Daging masak lemak cili api A.Z.

Ayam Masak Merah Ernie

Sambal telur Emma

Ikan terubuk masin Yan

Sayur campur Yana

Ayam goreng crispy Idy

Mixed fruit & nata de coco Pudding

Pulut inti Hardi

Spaghetti Bolognese Nabilah

(I put this last because I know this might be the least envious stuff for you since there are plenty of this in Switzerland)

Help!

I've been using Haloscan commenting system since...I can't remember when, but right now it seems like forever.

And now they are moving to Echo by JS-Kit (yup I know you must be grinning reading this, Kit). If I want to retain my old Haloscan comments, I can do it by joining Echo - for a fee of almost USD10 a month. And since I'm not a serious blogger who makes money from my blog, I prefer to revert to Blogger commenting system which is free.

However, reverting to Blogger system means none of those comments on Haloscan will appear because Blogger can't support importing of comments. I've saved the previous comments on Haloscan in my computer, but they won't appear on the blog. Which is a pity - because sometimes the comments form an extension of sort for the particular blog entry.

Does anybody know what should I do to sort of import the comments on blogger or importing to any other commenting system that can be used for free?
Thanks in advance!

Year End Lunch

Yus had been transferred as the Executive Officer of the sub-department, rather than merely the EO of the sector since October.
We were unsure whether or not to hold a farewell lunch for her because she's not exactly 'transferred' in one sense, since we still get to regularly see her and work with her, only that she's no longer under our sector.

Then, recently two of the officers in our sector - Azhan and Anuar, got their promotion. Azhan is retained in the sector while Anuar has been transferred to another department. So yesterday we had a pot-luck lunch in the office - a farewell lunch for Yus & Anuar as well as the sectoral Year End Lunch since many officers will start taking their Year End (long) break beginning next week, including the sector's boss.

Yesterday was a hiruk pikuk day due to me forgetting to renew my road tax in advance. I wanted to renew it on the day before by using MyEG service, but since it was the day before my road tax expired (15 December 2009), the Customer service guy who answered my phone call politely advised me to go to a JPJ office for a prompt service since the JPJ server was down, making it difficult to instantly process the renewal of road tax online. However since I already spent one whole morning in the clinic - it was inappropriate for me to spend the same afternoon to go outside the office unless I took a leave (but I already carried forward the balance of my annual leave to next year, which means I have no more leaves this year except those which were already approved by the bosses - for next week, insya Allah).

Since it was already D Day - I had to renew my license yesterday, by hook or by crook. I thought to get it done and over with quickly in the morning. So I walked to Parcel D to JPJ Putrajaya - only to be told that the service counters are undergoing renovation and are temporarily closed for the time being. I was advised to go to Bangi instead.

Walked back to Parcel C - and made it a point to call up the Post Office in Alamanda to check whether or not I could renew my road tax in their branch. You know - out of fear that the JPJ server might be down or something and I would be left with no choice but to go to a JPJ office. The guy who answered the call assured me that yes, they could process road tax renewal with a fee of RM2 and yes, the JPJ server was up and working well. No worries.

So I went to Alamanda and quickly got the matter settled. After all, I already bought the insurance policy online the day before, so alhamdulillah, getting my road tax renewal was a breeze. And unlike those days when I was in debt for my old Kancil/ Wira when I had to obtain the car's "geran" from the financier first, this time it is with me all the time because the Toyota Wish was already paid for in cash. No worries. (Except that the guy behind the counter in Alamanda Post Office made a blunder and printed an unnecessary stuff on the 'geran'. Geram sungguh, but what to do? Benda dah jadi...)

Back to the Year End/Farewell Lunch at the office.

The main theme was nasi campur, with each staff contributing a plate of dish (or two)

The menu, among others, include:

1. Ayam masak merah (Ernie)
2. Ikan Asam Pedas ('Jusa' CC Marziah)
3. Sayur goreng & Sambal goreng (Yana n Aniz)
4. Sambal tumis ikan bilis & sambal telur (Emma)

5. Daging Masak lemak cili api (me)

6. Ayam goreng crispy (Idy)
7. Ikan terubuk masin(Yan)
8. Telur dadar (Fairuz, groom-to-be in a week time)

9. Ulam

Additional menu include:

10. Spaghetti Bolognese (Nabilah)
11. Chicken pepper sausages with condiments

Desserts were:

12. Secret Recipe's Cappucino cheesecake

13. Blueberry chilled cheesecake

14. Oreo chilled cheesecake

15. Cheesecake (the 'normal' variant)

16. Pulut inti

17. Mixed fruit pudding

18. Sliced Fuji apples

All in all, it was a good lunch - the food delicious, the atmosphere friendly with lots of bantering, jokes and laughter.

Here's looking forward to a more productive (ahem ahem, 3 of the girls are hoping/praying/working towards adding another member to their respective family. No, not me lah - sheesh...) year ahead, insya Allah!

Anuar receiving his farewell git from the boss

Yus receiving her farewell (farewell ke?) gift

Part of the food galore

The cheesecakes! Yummy Yummy!

Birthday girls with the birthday cake (but it was cappucino, so I couldn't taste it...I can't take anything with coffee)

Line up, line up... Despite CC's initial worry about nasi tak cukup, there were plenty of food for everyone...

Spaghetti bolognese on banana leaf - interesting, eh?

Hairi and Faez suap-menyuap kek, ewah ewah...

Do it the traditional way - eating while sitting cross-legged

Part of the sectoral female staff

Kenyang perut, senang hati

A morning in the Clinic

I spent one whole morning in the clinic yesterday - for Baby Haniyya's 10 month check-up and Huzaifah needed to get a treatment for rashes. The crowd at the clinic was unusually large - we were there from 8.30 a.m. to almost 12.30 p.m. I supposed it has something to do with the school break, unstable weather conditions, and the fact that the electronic queue system went down. We waited more than an hour before our number was called for the registration, another hour for triage and yet another hour before being called by the doctor - yup, it was that bad. Good thing the clinic in Putrajaya has a play area, where I accompanied Huzaifah from time to time as we killed the waiting hours.

Haniyya 'bullied' by Ayah

Baby Haniyya is already 9.99 kg, alhamdulillah! He's a happy baby and I really love it everytime he turns his head from right to left when as we chant "La ilahaillallah". As cute as Humaidi used to be when as a baby, he nodded his head as he joined us chanting "Ya Latiff". Baby Haniyya eats lots of stuff now that he has already grown 5 teeth (3 upper front and 2 lower front). In fact yesterday, when we packed some sugared cream cracker biscuits for Huzaifah to the clinic, Haniyya was the one who ate a piece or two while Huzaifah simply let them untouched (instead he insisted on getting a packet of snacks sold at the clinic).

Happy Happy Haniyya (and Ibu)

Among the three boys, Haniyya seems to be the most 'manja', wanting to be picked up all the time compared to his more 'independent' brothers. I suspect it might have to do with the fact that he is used to having a bibik around, while his two brothers were raised by stay-at-home parents who prefer letting the baby develop his physical skills on the ground. And yes, it's more difficult to put Haniyya to sleep too since he prefers sleeping in a "gendongan" by the bibik (which I supposed is not that much different from being in a 'buaian', lulled by a bouncing movement). But all in all, he's a happy, healthy baby, alhamdulillah.

As for Huzaifah, he is prone to skin problems even as a baby. But over the weekend, he seemed to develop a really bad case of rashes. He was itchy all over and the itching progressively got worse - that it even affect his cheeks and ears and his face went all bloaty, which had never happened before. When hubby returned from Seremban on Sunday night and saw Huzaifah's condition - he immediately recognized Huzaifah's condition as itchiness that was caused from contact with caterpillar.

Hubby's notion seemed to be supported by the doctor who treated Huzaifah. She said that it's known that rashes due to contact with caterpillars will cause a bad outbreak of rashes for kids who already have skin problems. Poor Huzaifah - he could not sleep properly at nights due to the itchiness - which of course affected me as well because he would ask me (or his Bibik) to help him scratch all over his body, "Ibu gosok, Ujai gatal sini...Sini, Ibu... Sini... Sini...". Hubby said that he once experienced the caterpillar itch as a kid and was given an injection to control the itchiness from getting worse.

Huzaifah did not get any injection. The doctor prescribed a syrup for his allergic, an antibiotic syrup and two ointments - a moisturising one as well as betnovate to treat his rashes. The result is - at least he gets to sleep on his own without asking me to scratch all over his body.

Never knew about the caterpillar itch thingy until now. Well, that's what they say - we do learn a lot as our children grow up, making a mother's life an adventure in its own unique way.

"Ini gula Ujai... ini gula Ujai... ada baaanyak gula Ujai..."

While I was there, I consulted the doctor if she can tell if Huzaifah is a hyper-active child. So she spent some time observing Huzaifah who was jumping on the weighing scale. Before that, he scanned the consultation area and pointed at the pictures on the files which were arranged neatly on a rack as he responded to my questions regarding the pictures;

"Show me the airplane"
"What color is that car?"
"How many mosques are there?"
"Tell me the color of the train"
"How many green files are on the rack? Let's count them together..."

But he got easily bored with 'academic' stuff and quickly shifted to the weighing scale which was located on the opposite side of the rack. And he started jumping on the weighing scale when he noticed that the needles on the weighing scale moved when he did.

"My son doesn't know how to sit still. He's always on the move, on the move, on the move. What is your take on him, doctor?"

"He's four, right?"

"Yes"

"From my observation, he seems like a normal 4-year old. He's curious, yes, but that's normal for any 4-year old. Hyperactive children have troubles to sit still, stay quietor pay attention. They would not be able to concentrate and entertain your questions like your son did just now. They have trouble maintaining their focus "

"But he doesn't stop jumping, running, climbing and messing with his brother at home. He always have a 'project' going on. It's difficult to cope with him sometimes..."

"Oh, he's a creative boy. He just needs an outlet for his creativity. You just have to provide him enough outlets for his creativity. He is just a normal, growing up 4-year old..."

This is the second time I've been assured by a doctor that my son is 'just a normal' boy despite the many comments on him being hyperactive being thrown our way by others. I asked about his condition when he was still a baby - when he was observed by a child specialist on his 18 months check-up in Tokyo. Back then, I was already told that my fear of him being a hyperactive was unfounded. And now this.

But this time around, the doctor that we met was not a child specialist. Should I take him to see another child specialist for third opinion then?

Quick 1

Busy like crazy but been missing blogging...

1. Had a lovely dinner on our anniversary at Kensington Restaurant in Era Square near Terminal 2, Seremban. A western & fusion restaurant that seems to be hitting the right note with Malaysian food bloggers, and an affordable one too. The ambience is nice but no candle light dinner was served, contrary to what I was told when I made the reservation. But since we were already seated, we thought - never mind lah and ordered anyway. We had mushroom soup with garlic bread and prawn mango salad for starter; lamb chop & venison steak as the main entree and apple crumble (with ice cream) for dessert. Oh, and the not-to-be-missed huge air-flown from Canada, baked cheese oyster. Yummy! Food was fab, alhamdulillah although hubby was not too happy seeing bottles of wine lining up some tables. The waitress was obliging - I asked if they could play any other CD than the Christmassy one that was on, and she changed it to a light & easy CD (and romantic too - stuff like Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight" and Richard Marx's "Right Here Waiting").

We only managed to take some pictures of the soup when the camera's battery went dead. Oh well...

2. The kenduri of my brother in law went okay, alhamdulillah - although the "making of" and the "post-production" part was very tiring. No kidding.

SIL, wife of hubby's cousin & I in the process of hanging a self-made satin scallops in front of the house (so as to make it easy for guests to identify the rumah pengantin)

3. Dramas during in between the three functions (akad nikah, kenduri on the bridal side and kenduri sambut menantu on the groom side) include, among others, last minute lintang pukang shopping for bunga pahar, satin sheets to be turned into scallops, fresh flowers as cake decoration, a worrying episode of the eldest nephew in the family, Ahmad Hassan, experiencing acute pain in the chest, which after being inspected in Tuanku Jaafar Hospital, was diagnosed as some clutching of the nerve near his heart or something like that, plus receiving last minute goodies from well-meaning relatives who insist on them (souvenir face towels and bunjuts of jellies of various color and taste) forming part of the door gifts, Huzaifah tresspassing into a closed and locked kindergarden with Humaidi looking on while trying (and failed) to enter the kindergarden through closed gates and some huru haraness when the bridal side of the family came to the kenduri sambut menantu due to the caterer's lack of waiters/waitresses.

Ish, ish, ish, anak siapa lah tu ye?

"Ayah jangan pukul ok? Ujai nak keluar ni"

"Yelah, yelah Ayah tak pukul. Tapi Ujai jangan masuk dah, ok?. Tak Boleh. Salah. Tau?"

4. Should a Malaysian Malay newlywed couple opt for the honeymoon first or go and make the obligatory rounds of visits to the elderly before going for their honeymoon? I asked around in the office and the majority seems to believe that it is better to make the obligatory round of visits first before leaving for honeymoon. But what if one gets pregnant (bunting pelamin) before they could go for a 'proper' honeymoon? For the record, hubby and I spent our first week as husband and wife visiting relatives in Seremban and Kedah with just one night/day in Penang spent on our own. We planned on going back to PJ that night but we were both so tired from all the visits that we decided to spend the night in Penang on our way back from Kedah. Boy oh boy - it was really difficult finding a vacant room that night - school holidays, weekend and all. Alhamdulillah, we finally found one in Naza Hotel - yes, the very hotel we went for the family gathering during Eidul Fitri season this year.

5. Because my husband is not that 'jiwang' I don't usually consider him to be a romantic. Stuff like him refusing to give me flowers (even for my graduation) seem to support this notion. It wasn't until his aunt, Busu Bibah, pointed out that "Busu tengok korang selalu je pakai baju sama kaler" when it hit me that well, my husband is not that bad for a non-romantic husband. Busu went on to moan, "Pak Busu kau, hmm, jangan haraplah nak pakai baju sedondon ke apa ke..." Yes, like I said before, I am thankful for what hubby and I have and are together, alhamdulillah.

We both wore turquoise during BIL's akad nikah ceremony,

maroon during the bridal kenduri,

and golden yellow during the kenduri sambut menantu.

Go nen me no kinenbi

5 years!
In some ways it feels like forever, in others like it was just yesterday.

Alhamdulillah I must admit that it has been a wonderful and unforgettable 5 years of marriage.

1 plus 1 in 2004 now equals 5!

Baby Haniyya is going to be 10 months, Humaidi is 2.5 years and Huzaifah 4 years.
We have three children, have gone through different life experiences together (living apart in the 1st year, living as Mombusho-student-with-an-Imam-husband in Tokyo for 3 years and a year of what many would consider 'normal life' as government servants)
Alhamdulillah, I am happy to say that we are still moving forward together in our life journey, strengthening and maturing our bond and love for each other.

Oh yes, of course we get exhausted from our boisterous and highly energetic children and we might squabble about different viewpoints but alhamdulillah, so far we managed to work it out.
Oh yes, occassionally we found somebody telling us that I might have annoyed hubby, yet others would point out that I have higher tolerance and patience for his temper bursts compared to most women. Somebody would say that I made a lousy daughter-in-law and another would say that he made a lousy son-in-law too. We don't usually scream at each other, but admitedly, there were moments of resentment, 'bengang' and stuff every once in a blue moon.
Squabbles - what would married life be without them, eh?
"Gaduh-gaduh, bawa bahagia"...Or as Abraham Lincoln put it, "no matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens" (aww shucks...)

Anyway, while it might be easy to get lost in little frustrations and annoyances, when do we remember to look at things from a broader perspective, it really makes us thankful for what we have and are together...
Alhamdulillah.

I love you Abang.
More now than 5 years ago.
And looking forward to many, many more years for us to keep loving each other.
And keep falling in love with each other.
Again and again and again.
Insya Allah.

The Gift of a Smile

While McDonald's is no longer my usual hang-out place (unlike when I first started working in 1999 when I used to go to McD at least once in 2 weeks), I decided to have a Cheeseburger Happy Meal (the free toy for my son) while waiting for hubby last Sunday. He was attending to some business matter at Amcorp Tower while I had just finished book shopping at Big Bad Wolf Book Sale (it had gone down to RM5 a book today, the last day of the Sale).

Written on the pamhplet/tray cover was some brief information of Ronald McDonald House Charities (RHMC) Malaysia.

"200 smiles restored"

I was curious and read more for further explanation. Turned out that RMHC Malaysia runs the Gift of Smile Campaign for children born with cleft lip and palate defects, enabling the children to undergo corrective surgery at No Costs to the parents. I immediately picked up two application forms at the Information Counter.

There's a male clerk in the office whose baby girl was born with cleft lip. I didn't know about the baby's condition until we visited his house during Raya. She looked so fragile, all bundled in white in her playpen with her cleft lip, with her still-in-confinement mother looking at her, smiling at the guests yet trying to hold back some tears. It was heartbreaking. I wanted to hug the mother, but at that time I had to keep chasing after Huzaifah and Humaidi who were delighted in finding new spots to explore.

Since then I've been asking about baby Afina's development from time to time. Hairi confessed that back then his daughter was too young to undergo a corrective surgery but he had been assured that the doctors in Hospital Serdang, where she was born, would try to fix her condition once she reaches 3 months old.

I asked him about the cost.

He said that it was never really discussed with the doctors, so he suspects that they will first use the Guarantee Letter from the office - with him being a government servant and his daughter being treated in a government hospital - and he will pay for the cost by monthly deductions from his salary amounting the total cost.

So, yesterday, I went to his desk and handed over the application forms for Gift of Smile campaign, "I don't know if you had heard of this, but I saw this yesterday and I immediately thought of you"

"What is this Puan?"

I briefly explained what little I knew and recommended for him to try applying for it. He quickly scanned through the form. "But Puan, it's stated here that priority is given to families with household income of RM2,000 and below..."

"What's your household income, then?" I know that his wife is also a support staff, working for a government agency.

"A little bit over RM2,000"

"Just give it a try then. You never know if this is your daughter's rezeki"

"But Hospital Serdang had already set 29 January (2010) for my daughter's surgery"

"What's the cost then?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure. I was under the impression that I'll get monthly deductions from my salary after the operation is over"

This program is in partnership with ING Insurance and Pantai Hospital, so my guess is, the successful applicants would be treated at any of the Pantai Hospitals.

"If I were you, I would give it a shot. For one, if you got it, it's free. That means no deduction from your salary. You could instead use that portion of your salary to save for your daughter's education insurance or something..."

"Hmmm..."

"Try istikharah then. Ask for Allah's guidance. The surgery is set in late January - so you still have about 2 months from now..."

"Okay, I'll think about it"

They said that in Malaysia alone, 1 out of 600 babies is born with a cleft lip and palate. Out of the 570,000 babies born in this country, about 950 new cases are found each year. Corrective surgery for those born with cleft lip and defective palate are not cosmetic surgery. Chances are, if left untreated, a child born with cleft lip and palate would suffer from low self-esteem may experience breathing difficulties, speech and hearing problems, trouble in swallowing food and drinks, and facial growth impairments. Yet, in the first place, cleft lip and palate can easily be rectified with proper corrective surgery...

Here's praying for little baby Afina to have her smile restored again - with or without RHMC "The Gift of Smile Campaign" aid - insya Allah...

To give away...

So, yes, just like Kit wrote in her entry, I went to the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale on the first day - and burned a hole in my pocket.

My haul?
50 books (minus 1 later on, as I gave Julia Quinn's "The Lost Duke of Wyndham" to Kit) in one big box. The lady who was queuing next to me chuckled and asked if I would like to start a new library. I smiled back and answered that I already have a library and these are only add-ons. Of course, I initially picked almost 60 books, but on second thoughts, I only went back with the 50. And yes, the poor customer service boy who helped me with the heavy huge box, had to push the trolley (it was that heavy) all the way to Taman Jaya LRT station where the car was parked. We chatted a bit - and the boy told me that pushing the trolley filled with 1 box is not as difficult as carting 7 boxes for another customer earlier on, and Taman Jaya LRT is not as far as the end corner of Taman Jaya the park itself... I gave him a small tip of RM2 - to which he initially refused "eh tak payahlah" but I insisted "sikit je, buat minum". He grinned almost sheepishly, making me wondered - did others who got his help give him some small tip; especially if he had to walk further and help with bigger hauls?

*****

On Eidul Adha - it hit me that the amount I spent at the book sale could have easily been the cost for 1 portion of 'daging korban'.

Okay, I already, ahem, 'sacrificed' 1 book to Kit - because I knew it must have meant a lot to her since she already has started collecting Julia Quinn's UK cartoonish cover edition. It didn't take that much begging/pleading/whining from her because partly I already felt guilty for not remembering that "The Lost Duke of Wyndham" is on her wanted list and did not save a copy for her when I could. So Kit dear, consider that as my belated birthday present for you, okay?

I went back to Amcorp Mall yesterday - hoping to find books that I could read and then give away as presents while they are still in mint (as opposed to pre-loved) condition. To sort of 'sacrifice' the books away, in conjunction with the korban mood. I thought getting Chicken Soup books or books on management/leadership by John C Maxwell (all selling for RM10 each - yes that's how cheap they were) might do the trick. But unfortunately - there were only copies of Chicken Soup for Women Golfers left and none of the Maxwell book.

Yet, by the end of the evening, hubby and I spent more than RM200 on our second haul - mostly on coffee table books on cars, motorbikes and travel books.

So, should I give away some of the books I now have or wait until the next Big Bad Wolf Book Sale for a 'sacrifice' purchase? After all, giving away books - especially those I already owned - is a 'sacrifice' of sort for me. Like I told hubby - he can count on me not to overspend on clothes, bags, cosmetic or jewellery, but he has to bear with me when it comes to books...

(I don't have that many shoes too - but just got myself two pairs, at 50% discount, in the Year End Sale at Jusco. It's true, shoe shopping is almost always a positive experience for women - we don't have to diet to fit into shoes, and they never make our bum look big.)

Salam Eidul Adha

Selamat hari raya Aidil Adha.
semoga yang menunaikan ibadah haji tahun ini beroleh haji yang mabrur.
semoga yang menjalankan ibadah korban tahun ini diterima korbannya di sisi Allah.
dan semoga yang lainnya - termasuk empunya diri - sama-sama menghayati nilai dan memahami erti pengorbanan di hari raya Korban ini...

The lingering dilemma of the lingerie purchase...

Women in Saudi must still buy their bras and undies from male sales staff. While many finds it annoying, they don't have much choice because only men are hired as sales staff in most retail stores . So they have men selling g-strings to women, and grabbing push-up bras from the rack when customers complain that they need to push up sagging bosoms.

Ewww...

No wonder modern Saudi women buy their lingerie online or when they go abroad.

Apparently, it's not an easy situation for male sales staff too, as some finds it embarrassing to admit that they work in a lingerie shop.

One 21-year-old Saudi man who works in a lingerie chain called "Women's
Secret" is too embarrassed to tell his friends.

"I swear before I took this job, I never even went into these stores with my sisters and family because I was too embarrassed and now I work in one," he said.

"I told my buddies I am still unemployed and those of them who know I work think I work in a regular store," he added. "I can't allow anyone to see me in this store, it's too embarrassing. I'd rather they think I'm unemployed."

Here in Malaysia, I believe most women still buy their bras and undies from fellow female. But some find it embarrassing to shop for lingerie with men around. And it happens from time to time - men going to the lingerie shop with a female - sister, mother, daughter, wife - waiting for the women to make their purchases. Some are also consulted before final purchase is made. And some even go there alone to buy bras and undies for their female partner.

Which will make some female customers feel very conscious and uncomfortable merely with their presence. While the women might not subject to making their lingerie purchase from a male (at least in Saudi the women are covered from head to toe with exception of the eyes, so there is no telling how crimson a person's face would turn, being 'forced' to buy such a private piece of clothing from the opposite sex), some feel that there's an element of 'harrassment' to pick or buy a private garment in the presence of members of the different gender.

So, should men be banned from being near lingerie shops or lingerie section in the departmental store? Should they (like Saudi women) resort to buying lingerie online or when they go abroad? (Wacoal in Bangkok for an instance is a lot cheaper and more affordable than they are in Malaysia) If men were banned from entering lingerie shop or being near the lingerie section in the departmental store, it might make lingerie shopping a lot easier for many women. Some friends told me that they would go and kill some time elsewhere before hitting the undies and bras section upon seeing a guy in the vicinity. Especially so if they are browsing through really, really private stuff, like thongs. After all, imagination might run wild too upon seeing a man in the lingerie shop - it might not be so bad if the men who go there alone buy stuff for his wife - what if he's buying them for himself?

Ewww...

Anyway, what is the guideline for a man who wants to surprise his wife with lingerie? Too big and the wife might believe that he thinks of her as fat, and too small will be taken as a hint that he wants her to shed some pounds. Too conservative might lead the wife to believe that she's boring and too raunchy might be considered as trashy.

So, how?

Kenduri oh Kenduri

Hubby's younger brother is getting married next month. The last in the family to finally tie the knot. We just had a pre-kenduri last week - "ground breaking" of sort if the coming kenduri is likened to an "official opening".

All along I tried to chip in where possible - help packing the door gifts, for example (no more traditional 'bunga telur') and sometimes Pakcu, my youngest BIL would ask for my opinion on this and that and I'll share with him what little I know.

Last 2 years, Mak used to share how pening she was in preparing for Abang's wedding. I remember Mak telling me that she thought it would be easier than managing my kenduri because "kenduri sambut menantu" is supposed to be more relaxed but the reality is not as she expected. A Malay wedding reception, whether small or big, bridal or on the groom side, could still cause lots of headache, as well as tension-and-high-blood-pressure-inducing.

So, Pakcu's wedding is no exception. In a way, he's lucky because being the youngest in the family means he has lots of "sponsors". SIL No 1 & 2 'sponsored' the new bedroom set, SIL No 3 sponsored the hantaran (wedding gifts), hubby sponsored the door gifts, BIL no 5 sponsored paper bags for the door gifts and so on and so forth. And lets not even talk about 'sponsors' coming from other relatives and family friends. Yup, the groom is very lucky indeed.

Only that - like any other kenduri - it's not without its share of drama. Already SIL No 3 is unhappy with the groom-to-be's decision to have a pelamin (wedding dais). MIL said the same thing, stressing that none of her 5 kids who got married previously ever had a pelamin during the kenduri. My take?

"Hmm, having a pelamin would be nice for a photo shoot, but it should not be a top priority. No need to spend RM2000 for a temporary pelamin when that RM2000 could be used for more important stuff. But if you are willing to prepare a DIY pelamin - get a nice set of chairs, some beautiful flower arrangements, some nice linen as the background and all for a fraction of RM2000 - by all means, go ahead. And since this is what you want, and not what you need, be prepared to pay for it out of your own pocket, not Mak's. But the final decision must come from Mak. This is her majlis..."

I know, I know - it's the old debate of "whose majlis it is anyway?". The groom wants one thing, the parents another. For me, a wedding kenduri is a majlis for both - the married couple and the respective parents. Ideally, both party must be willing to tolerate and cooperate.

I didn't know that MIL is that stressed about coming wedding until last week, while I was helping with preparation for the pre-kenduri and she sighed, "Mak rasa dulu masa Amin kahwin lagi senang sebab banyak benda Haida yang tolong buatkan..."

Hah, I must admit that I was surprised because I remember my own Mak telling me something along the same line last 2 years. When I asked for clarification, turned out that MIL was still in the dark about lots of stuff - the wedding garments, how many guests from the bridal side will be coming to our kenduri etc. And she was also a bit upset with BIL's 'demands' - the pelamin, 'live' kompang (they played a recorded kompang for us 5 years ago and both hubby and I had nothing to complain about that), expensive photographer and all.

I must admit that for me, hiring a professional photographer, if one can afford it, is highly recommended. MIL argued that what with hubby having a DSLR, he can act as the wedding photographer without incurring much. I kept quiet, but I believe on the wedding day itself, hubby would be busy with entertaining guests and keeping stuff smooth that he would not have much time to act as a photographer.

Talking from my own experience, I am glad I paid for a professional photographer during the bridal side occassions - the akad nikah and the kenduri in Kg Tunku. Hubby said that he would ask his family to take the photos during the 'kenduri sambut menantu' in Seremban. And what do you know? We have two album of photos taken during akad nikah and kenduri in Kg Tunku, and 8 shots in Seremban. 8 amateur shots, if I may add. And you can't really blame the family members - there were hundreds of things need to be done and get done on the kenduri itself.

Pakcu told me that he and his fiancee had agreed to hire one photographer for all three occassions - the akad nikah, the bridal kenduri and the kenduri sambut menantu. Claimed that they scored a good bargain for the photography service as well as 'story book' album and all. Hmm, that sounds reasonable. But I really hope that he's going to work something out with MIL and his sisters, and come to an agreement on the pelamin thingy.

I also hope that he and his fiancee will communicate more with MIL so as not to let her worry about lots of details. Never let her fret unncecessarily. She has enough in her plate already.

By the way, although it has been a tradition of sort for hubby and I to celebrate our anniversary in a place we (or at least one of us) has never been before, this year it seems like we have to postpone it because our anniversary is just 2 days before Pakcu's wedding, insya Allah...

Kyoto - 'revisited'

Reading HE's entry on his trip to Kyoto brought back memories of our own trip in April 2008, more than a year ago.

Truth is, the only place we really visited in Kyoto was Kinkakuji a.k.a. the Golden Pavillion. After all, we did the Kyoto-Osaka-Kobe touch-and-go trip in one day, remember?

I remembered that day we started very early in the morning, to catch the first bus to Tokyo at 6.03 a.m., so as not to miss the second earliest Shinkansen Hikari at 7.03 a.m.

We boarded a 101 (or was it 104?) bus from Kyoto eki. A city bus that simultaneously acts as a sightseeing bus, that announce the name of places of interest along the bus route together with some brief description of each. In English too, mind you, and that's a rare experience in Japan.

Kyoto could be very charming - and one could witness that even during a short trip. There's the ultra modern part and then the old, rustic part; all blended so well that resulted in a charming Kyoto. It's different from the always-busy-and-lively Tokyo, yet it's not that much different. A contradiction in its own way.

Anyway, I remember a group of Nihonjin girls being fascinated with Huzaifah - who was about 2 1/2 year then. He got a lot of attention for having 'huge' 'kira-kira' eyes and showered with lots of attention - free sweets and candy included.

And I remember I had to change Huzaifah in a very public spot (the main viewing area) in Kinkakuji because his disposable diaper was already "terlondeh". I should have changed him in Kyoto eki, but we didn't know where exactly to wait for the bus and by the time we found the bus stand, the queue was already long so we did not want to miss the next bus. I thought it was okay to wait until we reach Kinkakuji to change Huzaifah, but well, my prediction was not exactly right... (Warning - the bus ride is a looong one. But worth it, at least in my opinion)

Kinkakuji is a UNESCO World Heritage site. The entrance ticket cost 400 yen per adult, but nobody could really take their own sweet time there as batches of tourists swarmed in, one after another. It was so crowded at the main viewing area that it was difficult to find one spot to take a family picture without other tourist appearing in the photo (hantu lilin). But once the group of tourists started walking around the grounds, it was not so bad as each of us get a little bit more 'personal' space.

I enjoyed the stroll around the grounds even though it was a bit tricky pushing the stroller along a pebbled path with hilly patches here and there. One cannot walk into the pavillion, cannot wander freely on the grounds and must follow an assigned one-way path, but still, it was lovely. Really. The golden pavillion, the calm lake, the 'islands' with tiny trees and/or bushes in the lake. Funny, but I must admit that it was serene despite the presence of so many tourists.

I think, given a chance I would like to visit other places in Kyoto. So many exotic places waiting to be visited - the Silver pavilion, the verandah without a single nail, the row of little shops selling souvenirs in Nenenomichi area... Maybe even try to shoot a picture of a geisha or maiko walking in Gion.

Some claim that Kinkakuji could be a waste of time - being too far from central Kyoto and not that close to other Kyoto's treasures. Still, I guess we were satisfied to have a taste of Kyoto by visiting Kinkakuji and boarding the city/sightseeing bus that day. Oh - and a macha ice cream at the end of the visit, made a beautiful tip of the iceberg.

Wanita materialistik?

That's the topic discussed in "Chit-chat Pagi" segment on MuzikFm this morning.

The callers on the radio seemed to basically agree that most women are materialistic - to different extent.

1. There are those "pisau cukur" type who will only fall for/date/marry rich guys because they look at the money factor first and foremost. This is the kind that most male callers talked about - the kind that give women a bad name.
2. Then, there are those who expect the guys to have more than them because they don't want to end up being the one to be the bread winner in the family. They feel that if they married those who are beneath themselves, then they are not doing justice to the future children because they fail to choose a responsible father. If they married those who do not earn at least as much as they do if not more, then they are not giving themselves much self respect because they are willing to stoop low and who knows how much lower they have to stoop later on. This group seemed to form the majority of the female callers, parents included ("Saya tak nak lah anak saya kahwin dengan orang yang pangkat dan gaji rendah dari anak saya, nanti apa saya nak jawab kalau orang tanya saya tak sayang anak ke?") .
3. Then, there are a few who believe in 'jodoh and rezeki di tangan Allah'. Yes, it is important that the guy has to be responsible and proves that he is willing to work hard to provide for the family. But who is to say that when you marry someone who doesn't earn that much, it will remain that way for the rest of your life? Who is to say that when you marry someone who earn a lot it will remain that way for the rest of your life? And if that happened, will you leave him just because he doesn't earn as much as he used to?

When Rasulullah married Saidatina Khadijah - she was a millionaire and he was working for her. In other words - she made a lot more than he did, but that did not deter her from marrying him as she fell for his sincerity, honesty, loyalty and good manners. Their marriage remained intact until Saidatina Khadijah passed away. For the duration of their marriage Rasulullah never married another. He only practised polygamy after Saidatina Khadijah passed away (a fact that many Ustaz seems to forget to include in their text when talking about polygamy in Islam) And even when he married others, his wives - including Saidatina Aisyah - were jealous of his deep love for Saidatina Khadijah.

Ah, but then he was a prophet. Maksum. Special.

Personally, I believe in looking more at the guy's attitudes than how much money he has. The attitudes go a long way insya Allah, the money, wallahua'lam. And of course, asking for Allah's guidance through solat istikharah is very important before one agrees to marry anybody. Merely using our head and heart is not enough without Allah's guide, so I believe istikharah is a HUGE factor in determining the 'one'.

I've seen some friends and relatives marrying someone who earns/earned less than themselves but alhamdulillah their marriages remain intact until today. I've seen a lady executive who married her boss' driver. Another lady executive married a clerk in the same office. The wives might be the main bread winner in the family, but both the husbands and wives don't let that bother them much. They both learned to take the meaning of "tolerance", "acceptance" and "respect" to another level compared to other 'common' couples.

So, is it true that most women are (or need to be at least a little) materialistic ?